Stewarding What Is Right In Front Of You

I was sitting down having some moments with God and thinking about my career, what I would like it to be. I was asking God some questions about it and how I should move forward. As God and I were processing, I said, “Lord, I haven't gotten a new referral in a month. Are you trying to tell me that this counseling season is coming to an end?

I gently heard the Holy Spirit saying, “Mayra, check your admin email.”

To which I responded by freaking out because I hadn’t even remembered that I have an admin email in like a month! One whole month of not checking it. I nervously logged on, braced myself, and saw a month's worth of unread consultation requests waiting for me. My stomach dropped.

I would normally not tell you this because I would be too embarrassed to admit that I do not have it together. I’m a therapist, I have all the tools in my toolbelt to get organized and remember. I could tell you the excuse that I used to have an admin and now I don’t, so I am not used to checking it. But the reality is that I dropped the ball. My brain could not handle even a small thing like checking an email.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like if you added one more thing, even a small thing, your whole cup would overflow? Well, recently I have felt this overwhelming feeling…a LOT of the time!

When Your Cup Is Full With Good Things

In between three different school calendars and two different work schedules, life became more than I could handle. All of it is so beautiful and so purposeful and yet I’ve been left feeling overwhelmed.

In case you like to look up the meaning of words like me, here is the definition for overwhelmed. Overwhelmed: when you have the perspective that you have too much to endure, deal with, or manage. It can mean to manage tasks but for me in this season, it has a lot more to do with managing emotions.

This is what I mean. The beginning of school started in August and I had a deep sense of grief seeing my girls go to school, especially my 6 year old whose school ends at 3pm and, honestly, I miss her being around asking me to go to the pool. I am so excited for her and what she will get to learn and I love her school so my excitement is as high as my grief for letting her go.

My 4 year old can paint her own nails, and even though she still needs me, I see her more and more capable every day. Another instance where the grief I feel is as deep as the joy I feel. And don’t even get me started with my 16-month-old who just waves goodbye to me like she is ready for college every time we drop her off at Parent’s Morning Out.

In my little mirrors of Leona, Allegra, and Valor, I am constantly reminded how fast life is changing and my soul is desiring for the planet to slow down for ten minutes. Ten minutes so I can take it all in. But the planet won’t stop, so what then? How do I create spaces to take it all in? How do I create spaces where I can remember all the things I need/want to remember?

 I don’t. I can’t.

I think part of life is remembering that we cannot do it all. My job is to be in step with Jesus and get my help from Him. Sure, I can write things down, put my phone away, etc but even in all my efforts, I don’t think I will ever feel like I am doing enough as a business owner, as a mom, as a friend, as a wife, as an employee.

I am not writing this so you can have empathy for me. I want to tell you this because I need us all to acknowledge our need for Jesus in every step we take. If we do what the Holy Spirit is asking us to do on the daily then our obedience to God will feel like enough. It needs to be enough even if we didn’t get to do everything we thought we had to do.

So, am I deeply sorry that I didn’t get to those emails sooner? Yes! Do I think that the Holy Spirit could have told me sooner? Also yes! Did I give him a chance until a week ago? Absolutely not. Do I trust that those people will get the help they need and I will get what I need? Absolutely.

For that month, I needed to be focused on what I had on my plate. More and more these days, I feel that the Lord calls us to steward what is right in front of us. Sometimes we are so concerned with growth that we forget how the daily tasks of life are the most holy moments with God.

So, when you start feeling overwhelmed ask yourself these questions:

1. What is God asking me to do that is already right in front of me to do?

2. What do I need to let go of? (Perfectionism, control, fear, etc.)

These questions are not like magic wands that will make your feelings disappear but they are important to ground us and help us realize we aren’t meant to do it all. God is not asking us to do it all, God is simply inviting us to get the help we need from Him to know what to do next.